I’m sorry I’ve not been around BlogLand very much recently. Unfortunately, I’ve had a fairly horrible time and it’s taking a while for me to sort myself out and resume something approaching normal service. I don’t handle change well and I’m having to make a lot of changes – some of which I like, although that doesn’t really make it any easier. I guess I’m just not a very flexible person – and in more ways than one at that!
You know, I was going to try and tell you what all has gone wrong over the past few weeks. But I don’t really want to revisit it and it wouldn’t be the most uplifting thing for you to read. Actually, it would be downright depressing. So I’ll say that I’ve had some personal problems, then a bit of a family crisis and now I find myself with reduced finances for a bit. You can insert whingeing noises (or violins) if you like! Me, I’m quite happy listening to the clock tick.
At the beginning of my trials and tribulations (I’m such a Drama Queen) I did well. I stayed close to God. I went to Mass and Adoration and spent a lot of time praying the Rosary. Then, when the problems didn’t go away and had the temerity to get worse I fell away and into my old coping mechanisms of binge-eating and smoking. I’m trying not to berate myself for this – at least I got it right some of the time.
Things are starting to go better now – some of the problems are resolving and my mental-state (which has been depressed) is lifting so I’m better able to deal with the ones that aren’t. Having Sammy purring on my chest as I write this is helping lots too. No, really – I love my boy and it’s not as uncomfortable as one might expect.
I’m ready to start picking up my life again – and that means living with the consequences of my actions. I need to quit smoking again (which will happen later today). I need to get back on my diet. I need to work out my priorities for the next few (financially difficult) months. I need to get back into my studies. I need to catch up with work and paperwork. But most mportant, I need to get myself back into prayer, the Bible and Church. It’s do-able. Not all of it is fun. But it’s do-able. And that’s really all that anyone can ask, isn’t it?