Walking on Sunshine

4lbs Lost

The numbers are going in the right direction again!  I’ve lost 4 of the 5 pounds I’d gained last week which is really good.  Just one more to go and I should be able to do that over the next seven days thus sticking to my plan of getting back to where I started over the course of a fortnight.

I’m not really very happy though.  I’ve lost those 4lbs more by good luck than good management as I’ve not been sticking to my plan.  A treat today (it’s hot – I need ice cream) has morphed into a treat everyday (it’s Tuesday – I need ice cream).  And, meantime, I’ve had a couple of social occasions which have revolved around food and alcohol (as these things tend to do).  I know from (bitter) experience that, when things start to slip this way, it’s a short step back into bingeous-extremis.  I need to stop the rot now, before I’m back in a size 26 and the Land of Back-Ache.  Actually, I have had a bit of back-ache over the past week and that little reminder is more than enough.

I really feel a lack of confidence in my ability to stick to the eating plan I’ve designed.  Probably because I’ve been ‘proving’ to myself that I can’t.  Or, rather, won’t.  I’ve been here before and, really, it’s never had a happy ending.  However, I’ve thought a lot about my past experiences and have come to the conclusion that if I retrace the steps I took at the beginning of this weight-loss journey, I might be able to do something different this time.  So I’m back to tracking everything I eat or drink through the WeightWatchers website while following my usual blue-print.  This has automatically reduced my portion sizes to where they should be and stopped the sugary treats.  As these are the things I knew I had to address, the website is working for me rather than forcing me into something I don’t want.  I’ll keep using it for as long as I find it useful.  At the moment, I’m finding it very reassuring to keep within my Points and not have to think about whether X amount of pasta is too much or whether I really need to eat item Y.

As you know, there are two other strands to my Healthy Laura Campaign:  exercise, and caffeine.  I’m a little further along the path of being willing to exercise.  Yesterday, when I was walking to my destination I decided to see if I could run between lamp-posts.  I can.  And then I can walk for the next three lamp-posts and run between the next ones, etc.  Unfortunately, my knees and hips protested quite quickly and I’m sore today but the fact that I was willing to try is a big step forward.  Being in pain is obviously a sign that I’m still to heavy to run which is fine.  I’ll try it again when I’m down to 12st something lbs and see how it feels.  In the meantime, I’m nearly ready to say I’ll do some intentional exercise on the days I’m not in pain.  Nearly.  Almost.  But not quite.  The reality is that I’m lazy and busy with other things.  So I’m going to accept that this is where I am and just continue walking instead of using the car (easy when its brakes are broken!)  My mindset has changed over the past few months and, I think, if I continue accepting instead of nagging myself I will get into mindset of being willing to exercise.

Caffeine is another area in which I’ve slipped.  And I’ve slipped further into old habits with this than I have with food where, I think, I’ve stopped the rot fairly quickly.  Sigh.  I know what I have to do.  I’m still on decaff for tea and coffee but am happily quaffing soft, sugar-free drinks.  It’s hot.  I’m thirsty.  And, heck, I like them.  At the moment I’d rather have a Coke than a coffee.  I’m also really tired (perhaps because of the extra weight?) and ‘needing’ the kick of caffeine to get myself moving.  But, with that kick comes anxiety later in the day.  And it’s not really worth it.  Sainsbury’s is going to deliver my groceries tomorrow night and I’m going to add some caffeine free Coke to the order as it’s not easily available locally.  This means I’ll be extra-tired and very headachey for a week or so but should be worth it.  I do hope so.

See you next week.

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